Last night we went to Little Wing for pizza. It’s child friendly there, without the connotations of a “child friendly” restaurant. Honestly, don’t let that put you off if you don’t have kids… I’ve lost you haven’t I?

All was going well. Baby sat in a high chair, charming everyone around her. She even befriended an older toddler who was fascinated and amused by the massive snot bubbles our daughter is able to produce, just by breathing. I swear, they are half the size of her head.

We were so relaxed that my wife and I began to chat, without focussing entirely on baby. This is where a baby will exploit any window of opportunity.

The family at the table next to us received their dinner. They were having an equally lovely time together. My daughter turns – and this is where time slowed down, the camera of my mind swooped down and zoomed in – she reaches out. In an instant our neighbouring diners witnessed their fresh bowl of pasta spray across the room. Bowls spun in to the air, crashing all around.

People are standing up, people are apologising, people are feeling very awkward.

Almost as quickly, baby turns back to go about her business of destruction and eating of any paper based publication within 10 meters. Without even flinching, she leaves the chaos around her.

Thankfully the family next to us were incredibly nice, they didn’t seem in the slightest bit worried that their dinner was now a wall feature.

The staff at Little Wing were also very helpful in easing our embarrassment.

We realised at this moment that the days of the contained, immobile baby are gone.

We now enter a new phase of constant apology and awkward dining experiences.